I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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