first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
