I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i think i just lost a toe
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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