so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize