why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
