he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
