im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
