I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
