porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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