Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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