Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
