i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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