I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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