Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
