North Korea, Best Korea!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
