I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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