And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
