This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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