I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Mom said you looked used
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
