dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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