I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
