My first STD was from a foam party
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
