walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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