Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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