Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
