We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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