I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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