Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
