So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
