one might say we're banned from that church
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
