I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
