sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
