He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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