I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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