On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ambien. No doubt about it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
