I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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