I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
