if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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