I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
