took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
