I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
