Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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