just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
