I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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