i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
