Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
