u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
