Duck Duck Cougar?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize