If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
