how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Two words: nipple clamps
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