Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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