I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
